” “Not our problem.
” “Uh, I… uh… oh, yeah: did I tell you the dinosaur had a beard and carried a prayer rug under its arm?
” “Woodfucking. We’re sending you a B-52 and enough napalm to turn Texas into sausage.”
As it turns out, it was simple.
But in the film, these idiots simply accept Fatbouc's plan. and the children on phone number list board, ready to leave. While Owen, Omar Sy, and the mercenaries will charge ahead with the raptors in pursuit of the I-Rex. But how can they put them on their trail?
"We just have to make them sniff the piece of flesh with the implant he tore out!"
Of course. The one you can't have since, last I heard, you had no reason to get him back and he was among the bodies of the first team in charge of calming the animal? Let's say you have David Copperfield on the team and, bam, he magically brought the said piece of meat to you. That's how he is, David. Nice to the end.
So the raptors can start hunting: it's off for a sequence where the dinosaurs run through the jungle with Owen in their midst on his motorcycle (recovered when, by the way? Wasn't it at your bungalow? Daviiiiiid, magic!), and behind them, Omar Sy and the mercenaries. Very quickly, the raptors find the trail of the I-Rex, and stop in a corner of the jungle, not far from their target, which soon appears, right in front of them. Everyone takes cover, ready to machine-gun the mouth of the nasty dino.
Except that the dino starts talking to the raptors.
Owen's eyebrows shoot up: " Holy shit! This dinosaur... it has raptor genes! That's what they were hiding from us! It communicates with them! "
Well then, shoot, right?
No.
Instead, Owen and his friends decide to watch the scene while moving their eyebrows very quickly. For long, looooong moments, they let it happen until the raptors turn towards them, without attacking the I-Rex.
" Ah, goat shit," Owen swears. "I think he just unionized those little bastards. Now they're against us and going to demand pay raises and meal vouchers. "
Panic.
"Come on, Owen, what could possibly go wrong? I'm fat, I have a goatee, I don't like animals, and I'm trying to control the public's favorite dinosaurs. I don't see how this could escalate and end badly for me."
So our heroes only decide to open fire when, well, it's actually too late. They should have been less stupid. And here again, the I-Rex takes the bullets very well, thank you. It narrowly misses getting hit by a rocket, but just stumbles before leaving while the raptors kill all the mercenaries, one by one. Only one of the animals also gets hit by a rocket, which calms it down instantly. The only survivor of the incident (along with Omar Sy), Owen manages to retreat and join Claire and the children, who were busy with the other raptors (they must run really fast to be everywhere like that) in a chase. But that ends well, because they're the heroes, so fuck you, raptors.
Claire will stay near the enclosure with a truck
-
- Posts: 932
- Joined: Mon Dec 23, 2024 7:00 am